This Fascinating World of Mine

With the resurgence of the New Kids on the block and the Backstreet Boys in their power group NKOTBSB (which I want to point out could be read out as New Kids on the Backstreet Boys), comes a lot of groupie fans out of the woodwork.  I resent them.

You see, when I was approximately five years old I fell in love with my first boy band.  It was a rough day, four years later in 1993 when they were declared “un-cool”.  But guess what?  Being the strong independent woman that I was/am, I remained a loyal fan.  I even purchased their greatest hits CD in 1998, and listened to it non stop in my discman. 

(This is direct evidence that time had passed, as in the beginning of the movie montage, I would be shown dancing around with a walkman, fade to a now teen grooving out to her discman.)

Meanwhile, I was also an avid fan of the BSB.  That’s right, my guys Howie, AJ, Brian, Nick and that other guy were probably the only friends I had in junior high.  (Oh I was cool.) 

By High School, with the emergence of a new genre called Hip Hop (said slowly in an old man voice with a question mark at the end), once again Boy Bands were not in style.

Was I loyal?  Yes.  (Take note that I our movie montage could be extended to show a 25 year old woman downloading not the Itunes essential New Kids on the Block, but the FULL ORIGINAL 3 ALBUMS to her ipod.  And ok, I wasn’t 25.  I was almost 28.)  

Into my mid 20s I continued to listen to such great hits off of the original New Kids on the Block album, that include these lyrical gems:

“Saw a home girl at the corner store. 

Eyes started bugging, mouth fell to the floor.

She had a miniskirt and a sexy pose,

I tried to rap to her but I just froze.

Tell me now fellas, what can I do?

To make a girl like me, like a girl likes you?”

Jay-Z has nothing on those kids. 

And now they’re all grown up, and I suppose so am I.  I was thrilled when they announced their reunion tour (Section B, seat 127) and probably died in ecstatic disbelief when they announced a combined tour with the Backstreet Boys (Section F, seat 134).

But here is what really blows my mind (that’s to prove what a die hard fan I am…), all of the ladies who were “so over” the New Kids and the Backstreet Boys are now suddenly “die hard fans again”. 

Listen girls, just because these 40 year old babes have reunited, doesn’t mean they are going to pull you up on stage, sing to you and propose (or take you their dressing room).  Just because you follow Donnysgirlz on Twitter, doesn’t mean that he is your friend.  Just because you go on a cruise where he is in a PRIVATE SECTION OF THE BOAT, does not mean you vacationed with Jordan Knight.

Basically, what I’m really trying to say is: back off b*tches, they’re mine. 

80s Hairbands are awesome.  Having grown up in the 80s, I truly believe this.  Journey, Poison, Motley Crue.  I lived off of the VH1 Behind the Scenes of these bands.  I had weird dreams where I went to college with Tommy Lee.  80s hairbands are in my blood.

Until last night.

Having gone out for wine with a bunch of girlfriends, we decided to go dancing.  Now, we’re all on holidays but kind of forgot that most of the work world is no longer on Winter Vacation.  Don’t forget, last night was a Tuesday night.  We took cab ride #1 ($10) to a haunt that usually is bursting at the seams (on a Friday or a Saturday night).  In we walked to an empty bar where a waitress and a bartender stared at us for interrupting their flirting session.  With fingers crossed for their little romance, my three friends and I made it back into the cold night air.  Here we came upon two snowboarders who my Brazilian friend approached and demanded that they guide us to the “most happening place on a Tuesday night.  By the way I’m Latina”.  These are her words not mine. 

Cab ride #2 brought us to a pub where the left over (angry) revelers from the World Junior Hockey Game were bursting out of the place.  Now this seemed more what we were looking for.  Except upon glancing around we noticed an interesting trend.  Young girls with multiple tattoos, fish net tights, short (short)skirts and teased hair.  Looking around at their male counterparts were all men over the age of 35.  Hmmm?

Turns out a “famous” 80s cover-band was playing.  It shouldn’t surprise you that my Brazilian friend led us immediately to the front where we got a close up view of leopard print tights, bad wigs and men doing things with their tongues that they really shouldn’t, while playing guitar and pretending they’re Nikki Sixx.  Not only was their playing not very good, not only were their eyes kind of dead, but their cheap tawdry jokes about 70s bush (don’t ask) were enough to drive us back out into the street.  

Now, if one were to examine Nikki Sixx now, you would notice that he has updated his rockstar look to include sports jackets and expensive jeans.  Take a glance at Brett Michaels and he is wearing print T-shirts and cowboy hats that reflect at least the 2000s.  And don’t forget he has a rockstar fashion line for pets (seriously). 

My point is this.  80s hairbands are awesome, but leave them in the 80s. Here are a few Dos and Don’ts to help us all out:

Do: Create a play list that you listen to on repeat *cough*

Do: Youtube their glory days.   Repeatedly

Do: Write a 100 page novel about you marrying most of the lead singers

Don’t: Try to dress like them

Don’t: Throw yourself at the lead singer of an 80s hair/coverband in the year 2012.

Don’t: Try to use dirty words and think you sound cool.  

So maybe we need to let the 80s go, after all the Rockstars have.  

My sister told me to join Tumblr.  As a younger sister, I usually do the things she asks (she’ll tell you otherwise).  

So here I am in 2012, joining yet another blog community.  I guess I’m more of a writer and less of a blogger.  I love words, but what I love more are characters.  Maybe I’ll share a few of them on here.  

After all, it’s impossible to be a writer if you don’t have at least a few readers.